Cocooning, Part 2

Virginia is "The South" but the Northern Virginia suburbs of DC are not "The South". The politics are different, the attitudes. It's Greater Washington DC. (GW and his cronies are not typical DC residents. DC itself, in fact, is largely black.)

I may have written this before, but it's relevant here -- It's fascinating to me that if I get in a car in New York City and drive north for eight hours, I am still in New York State. However, it I start in the same spot and drive south for four hours, I'm in "The South" (What point am I trying to make? I don't know. I just find it interesting. Draw your own conclusions if there are any to draw.)

That having been said, there are still people around here whose political leanings are mystifying to me. One of them is my brother-in-law, who I will call Philip, so that he can't find this in a web search of his name.

At the terrible chili restaurant in that strip mall the other night, he was shouting at me at the top of his lungs because I was saying Republicans are more corrupt than Democrats (he is, as far as I know, a registered Democrat) and was even more outraged by my suggestion that Democrats might actually be interested in maintaining Americans' security.

He said something like, "When a terrorist has a knife to your throat (or "is cutting off your head" or whatever), you tell me you're glad the Democrats wouldn't let anyone listen in to your phone calls."

My points were many -- that listening in would be more acceptable if it were done according to the law, rather than in opposition to it; that we didn't need such intrusions on our privacy, seeing as how we had the information to stop 9/11 without illegal wiretaps and our "president"; simply didn't use it; that the terrorist threat, while real, has been exaggerated in some ways . . .

But all he could do was harp on my head being chopped off, with an occasional nuclear bomb in New York for extra spice. (Which, sadly, was missing from my chili. Oh ok, the lousy chili was plenty spicy. I'll give 'em that.)

Fortunately, Philip (that's not his name, by the way) is not typical of my family (nor of his, for that matter). We're New York Jews and therefore always on the correct side of issues (which makes British hatred of us over this Israel business so much more frustrating -- we're your ideological brothers, so give us this one thing.)

In fact, the counterpart to "Philip" (hee-hee), Rich, who's married to my other sister (I can use his name, 'cause his thoughts are pure and true), manages to be more politically sensitive than Philip, despite also not being a New York Jew. (Rich would probably claim this is untrue as he's from Schenectady, New York but -- trust me -- that's not New York.)

Rich is, however, polite in a way New York City folk are unlikely to be. He is, by nature, deferential when traditionally appropriate and so was a little surprised when I told him if I met "W", It would be all I could do to keep from spitting at him. I said with all the trouble "this guy" (as my father refers to him) has caused at home and around the world, he is worthy of no respect, only disdain.

I continued by saying that I respect the office he holds, but that he has sullied that office. And then I came up with a line I love so much, I felt I should place it here for all to snuggle up to and enjoy. I called Bush "a petty dictator with the brain of a retarded monkey minus 12."

My sister, my nephew and my deferential brother-in-law all laughed.